For several weeks I've been struggling with a situation that has really had me down. I don't like being down.
There is absolutely no fun in it and no point to it. I always try to make a conscious decision to BE HAPPY. Life is too short to not make the most of every moment.
But sometimes that is more difficult than it should be.
You see, someone I thought was a friend ended up being not such a great friend. She has chosen to use her position (which puts her in contact with much of our community on a daily basis) to be sure that others know her opinion of me. She is twisting things said in past conversations to make it appear to others that I am something other than what I appear to be.
My first reaction was anger.
I was (and still am, to be honest) angry that she would say to others the things that are coming back to me through the grapevine; that she is trying to make it seem as though I am some deceitful and conniving person who is out to make myself look good whatever the cost; that she has the audacity to approach even my good friends in an attempt to turn them against me.
But what good is anger? NO GOOD AT ALL. By being angry, I'm giving her the power to control me.
Still...it's tough to let it go.
Then I added another reaction.
Hurt. When I mix anger and hurt, I end up with tears.
I avoid conflict and since I'm really the only one this situation is hurting, I refuse to become embroiled in it any further. I am simply avoiding her (and subsequently avoiding letting her see how upset this has made me) and hoping that others are able to see and know the truth because they know me. So far when friends have confronted me with what they've heard, it has been more of a 'heads-up' kind of situation. They just want me to know what's being said but they're not believing any of it. For this blessing, I am extremely grateful.
I will always care deeply what others think of me. Sometimes I wish I didn't, but then I'm afraid I wouldn't appreciate and enjoy as deeply all the wonderful blessings that fill my life, too. After all, as one of my favorite poems says:
God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower strewn pathways all our lives through;
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
And that's okay. Without the valleys, the views from the peaks wouldn't be nearly so breathtaking!
So I'm going to count my blessings during my very busy day today. So much to do and so many things for which to be thankful!
